Monday, March 23, 2020

Texting With My College Roommate After 40 Years



Chip: The Bible says we have to bless each other so we can live in love. So, I’m sending you this message. Today is a day of blessing! I bless you. Your heart. Your health. Your home. Your life. In the name of Jesus.

Me:  You going to church now?

Chip: Yes, I do go to church. Don’t you go?

Me: No.

Chip: I will pray for you.

Me: Good. I need the prayer and you need the practice.

Chip: Bless you! Do you believe in anything?

Me: It’s all a mystery to me. I know I don’t go for that fundamentalism stuff I was raised on. You still indulge?

Chip: I drink a beer or two.

Me: Ok. You still burn one?

Chip: Sometimes.

Me: Ok. Sounds like you aren’t a fundamentalist, either.

Chip: Oh, I forgot. You’re a Democrat.

Me: And you’re not. I should have known back when you were ordering all of those Brandy Alexanders. Do you believe in science?

Chip: I believe in the Son, the Father, and the Holy Ghost.

Me: Ok. But, do you believe in science?

Chip: No!

Me: What do you do when you are sick? Do you take any meds? How are you communicating with me right now without science?

Chip: I believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins and mine. Do you believe in that?

Me: Ok. Does that mean you can’t believe in science?

Chip: Some of it. But, I believe in Jesus. Don’t you?

Me: Some of it

Chip: There you go!

Greg Clary
Sligo, Pennsylvania 
First published in the Rye and Whisky Review 

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